yup we are still here and kicking

Termination was supposed to be set for this month but biomom was granted a continuation to try to prove she is fit.  So TPR is now set for may.
      in the past few weeks we have
                                       * hired a lawyer
                                       * been told that the caseworker is recomending us for adoption
                                       * been told the GAL is against us adopting becuase we are of a different ethnic background than baby
                                       * been told that MIPA (don't remember what is stands for but is a law preventing race to be a factor in an adoption)  will prevent GAL from making such a claim
                                       * found out biomom is still using and is pregnant
                                       * bio family has been found not fit for placement
                                      
We have started reserching and talking to our lawer and found out that foster parents have way more rights under the law then the county would like you to know about.
 what we have learned (remember I am not a lawer so this is just how I understand it)
                                   * if a child is in our home for more than 3 months we have the right to be party to the case and there for know everything that is going on and have a say for the childs best interest (they don't have to listen but I feel better at least knowing I get to voice my opinion)
                                   * under the law a kin placement is blood not the ex-wife of 20 years of a great uncle of bio moms MIA father.
                                   *but we have also learned that unless you have a lawyer to help them realize the law they will continue to opporate as if the law is not there.
                                  
                                   * we also learned that all though there are a lawyers willing to take the case at a reduced fee we still may need to sell a kidney and wish we had been saving for this from day 1. but baby is totaly worth the fight and the cost.

now what

At the visitation hearing the judge ordered that biomom get visitation rights back. (termination is still set for next month)  He also ordered homestudys done on 2 family members. So far there have not been any family members that have been approved to take him but supposedly these 2 family members didn't know he was in the system and just found out ( really? 1. they are lying 2. they are not very connected to the family so why are we making a big deal about placing him with kid?)
We started visits last we and just like 7 months ago he screamed the entire time.
To top it off he has a new GAL who is very determined that he go to kin.
So we now think it is time to contact a lawyer someone needs to look at his best interest and we don't believe the state is doing that. How can taking him away from the family he knows, loves and feels safe with and placing him with total strangers just because they share the same blood is better? causing a child to perhaps deal with attachment issues their entire life is better?
We were very clear with the caseworker about our intentions and our feelings. I am not sure if she respected us or think we are now out to make her job harder but either way I think we will now have a fight on our hands, if not from her then defiantly from the GAL and the state.

We are praying for wisdom and that God show us how and when we should fit for this little one he put in our house. We believe he is here for a reason and that it is our responsibility to fight for him until God shows us otherwise.

and so we wait

We had court this week. Caseworker asked for TPR...termination hearing set for February BUT a visitation hearing was also set for January (there are no visits now for reasons unknow)  ????  are we looking at termination or visitation? Everyone seems to be staging their feet on looking at the kin placement which isa little frustrating. I would like to at least know what direcion we were moving with that.
So for now we wait.

What mom missed this month
Seeing his eyes light up at the watching the Christmas tree
Keeping him away from the ornaments on said tree
He now sings and dances...he puts on quite the show
Lots and lots of teething poor baby got in 6 front teeth and 4 molers.

TPR

*court is in 3 weeks. Case worker said she was going to ask for termination....

Nothing

It has been almost 4 weeks since we were told visits would start back up but we haven't heard a thing since then. Nothing about visits, nothing about family...nothing. I wish I could say no news is good news but I know all to well that is not always the case so we will continue to wait for any news.

On another note our case worker asked if we would consider another placement apparently there are quite a few babies in the system right now they are trying to get placed with foster to adopt families including a set of twins.
It was harder than I expected to say no. Some days I am so done with the system but other days when the drama seems so mild I can't help but think of all the little ones that need someone to love them.

vistis to start again!?!?!?!?

Really? here we go again.
Bio-mom is back in the picture. She contacted the case worker last week asking for visits to start up again. Baby G has not seen her in over 3 months! and the last round of visits did not go very well he cried the entire 2 visits. Permanency hearing is in December and we have been hoping they will call for termination which is what the case worker had been hinting at but of course now they have just learned about 2 "family" members that they now have to do due diligence in checking them and look at placing baby with them. Case worker promised us that if they did move baby they would make it a smooth long transition....as if that is supposed to make us feel better.

Things bio-mom has missed
-1st birthday
-baby has gone from walking to running
-baby loves to dance
-6 teeth and more coming
-first cold/fever
-first time seeing snow he stood at the window all morning watching it
-his laugh
-calling her mom

family

As we get closer to baby g becoming part of our family we are finding that some family is not quite as supportive as they originally seemed. Quiet comments about how our bio children seem to have to take on to much responsibility because of baby or are missing out or get less attention. Implied suggestions that we don't have to go through with it or we can just give him back and get back to our "normal" lives. It's not like those thoughts haven't crossed our minds a time or two but in the midst of the chaos it is not the encouragement we need. Doing what is right is not always what feels good or is easy. Don't get me wrong we love baby g and consider it a blessing and honor to be his parents right now.  but there are times it is hard, when life before seemed less stressful. when the guilt of  feeling like the older kids are not getting enough attention,  when date night is cancelled because respite feel through or nights together after the kids are in bed is put on hold or cancelled altogether because baby woke up crying for no reason.
But when things get hard I remember that we are doing this for a reason and that baby g was placed in our family and it is up to God to decide for how long.
We are to gracefully remind our family that this is not a fade we will grow out of and that if baby g does in fact become a permanent part of our family he will be be a part of our family in all ways.

if anyone has ever had to deal with this issue I would love some feed back
on how you handled it.