Our Story

Once upon a time I was mom to a beautiful baby boy. In my heart I am still his mom. I still worry if he is eating well or warm enough but I can't fix it if he is not. I pray for him every night but can no longer tuck him in and kiss his little head. So far this fairy tale has no happy ending. I pray that one day it will but for now my heart is to broken to see how it can. This is the past story and the continuing story of the joys and sadness we have experienced and continue to experience as we pursue adoption through foster care

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Persevere

per·se·vere/ˌpərsəˈvi(ə)r/

Verb:
Continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no indication of success.
I have to admit I was not really listening to the sermon, I was trying but my mind kept wandering and I couldn't concentrate. I don't think the point of the sermon was on perseverance I think it was just said in passing but it caught my attention...for a second anyway. The pastor said God called us to persevere and that it meant continuing on even when there is no indication that we will succeed. That small side note hit every feeling and thought I have had the past few months pertaining to our little man and to foster care in general. God called us to pursue adoption through foster care but He did not promise we will succeed. He did promise that His plans are good and that we would prosper but my idea of prosper and success is not always His. He has called us to foster so we will persevere through that calling and maybe His plan for us is adoption and maybe not maybe His plan is success in that and maybe we will prosper in a way we never imagined. As I write this it seems so easy to do. But it is not at least not for me I am still struggling with hurts and whys of loosing little man and I still struggle to hold on to God's promise

Jeremiah 29:11

New International Version (NIV)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Yes I know this is the same verse I hated 4 months ago but when God hits you over the head with something over and over eventually you pay attention. I am learning to hole on to that promise not only for me and my family but also for little man.
I also had the thought when I heard to persevere it meant that I could also persevere in the return of my little man. That by asking and praying for him to come home doesn't mean I am giving up on or not trusting  God's plan for my life or his. I know the answer maybe no but as of now I haven't heard that answer...actually I haven't heard any answer so until I do I am going to persevere in asking for and praying for him.

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