TPR!

Last I blogged we were starting visits again and biomom was given another chance. That didn't last long I think we only had 2 or 3 visits after that before she went AWOL again. Baby's  caseworker changed and on first impression we thought it would mean this new cw would start the whole process over again and give biomom and kin another go round. I think if it was totally up to him he would but luckily the supervisor and county attorney who have been involved with the case the whole time were ready to move on. At pre trial the county attorney called for TPR since neither bio parent had bothered to show. Judge agreed! Now we are just crossing our fingers hoping that a kin placement doesn't show up and make this a fight. We are so close to having this be over.

Baby is not a baby anymore he is getting so big his vocabulary grows by leaps and  bounds every day and he is constantly surprising us by what he understands and says. He fits in perfectly. We still have some issues if he is feeling abandoned but that has gotten better since visits have been non existent for a few months. Visits were so hard on him everything about his personality changed. He understood it so much more than I thought he did. His lovable silly personality changed to a insecure defiant little boy for days after a visit that he would spend the majority of the time screaming at and trying to leave. Sleepless nights were back and anytime we left his sight for even a moment a major meltdown ensued.  Watching what the system does to these little ones breaks my heart and I don't understand how they can think this is best for the child.

A family member ran into little man (our first placement ) I was sent a picture the sender thought it would make my day to see that little man was safe. it actually broke my heart because yes little man was physically safe I could still see the hurt in his eyes. So much miss trust showed. This should not be the look of a child only a few years old. He was no longer the carefree smiley baby of mine he was now a timid little boy with lots of hurt. It broke my heart...it breaks still.

yup we are still here and kicking

Termination was supposed to be set for this month but biomom was granted a continuation to try to prove she is fit.  So TPR is now set for may.
      in the past few weeks we have
                                       * hired a lawyer
                                       * been told that the caseworker is recomending us for adoption
                                       * been told the GAL is against us adopting becuase we are of a different ethnic background than baby
                                       * been told that MIPA (don't remember what is stands for but is a law preventing race to be a factor in an adoption)  will prevent GAL from making such a claim
                                       * found out biomom is still using and is pregnant
                                       * bio family has been found not fit for placement
                                      
We have started reserching and talking to our lawer and found out that foster parents have way more rights under the law then the county would like you to know about.
 what we have learned (remember I am not a lawer so this is just how I understand it)
                                   * if a child is in our home for more than 3 months we have the right to be party to the case and there for know everything that is going on and have a say for the childs best interest (they don't have to listen but I feel better at least knowing I get to voice my opinion)
                                   * under the law a kin placement is blood not the ex-wife of 20 years of a great uncle of bio moms MIA father.
                                   *but we have also learned that unless you have a lawyer to help them realize the law they will continue to opporate as if the law is not there.
                                  
                                   * we also learned that all though there are a lawyers willing to take the case at a reduced fee we still may need to sell a kidney and wish we had been saving for this from day 1. but baby is totaly worth the fight and the cost.

now what

At the visitation hearing the judge ordered that biomom get visitation rights back. (termination is still set for next month)  He also ordered homestudys done on 2 family members. So far there have not been any family members that have been approved to take him but supposedly these 2 family members didn't know he was in the system and just found out ( really? 1. they are lying 2. they are not very connected to the family so why are we making a big deal about placing him with kid?)
We started visits last we and just like 7 months ago he screamed the entire time.
To top it off he has a new GAL who is very determined that he go to kin.
So we now think it is time to contact a lawyer someone needs to look at his best interest and we don't believe the state is doing that. How can taking him away from the family he knows, loves and feels safe with and placing him with total strangers just because they share the same blood is better? causing a child to perhaps deal with attachment issues their entire life is better?
We were very clear with the caseworker about our intentions and our feelings. I am not sure if she respected us or think we are now out to make her job harder but either way I think we will now have a fight on our hands, if not from her then defiantly from the GAL and the state.

We are praying for wisdom and that God show us how and when we should fit for this little one he put in our house. We believe he is here for a reason and that it is our responsibility to fight for him until God shows us otherwise.