the rest of the story

TPR happened in May 2013 but we knew that we were not safe until the adoption was complete. After TPR happened we aren't sure if we were forgotten about or what but the CW didn't check in with us until July our CW tried to help find out what was going on and was told that our case was being transferred to the adoption caseworker but when she talked to the ACW she had not received our file yet. We think that the CW was still trying to "do his do diligence" and find kin before he turned out case over to the adoption worker. The middle of July the ACW finally received our file and we were able to move forward with the adoption process! By now we were starting to see some behavioral issues with baby that we weren't sure what to make of them we were thinking RAD (reactive attachment disorder) he would scream for 45 min after dropping kids off at school or if anyone left the car. We couldn't leave him in the nursery or with anyone without a meltdown happening that would last for as long as he was left sometimes over an hour. We realized that the timing correlated with when visits had happened the year before. After mentioning it to the ACW she sent us to see a child physiologist that dealt with trauma kiddos. After meeting with and playing with baby she diagnosed him as a sensory seeker with Sensory Processing Disorder and after she explained it it described baby perfectly. There was also some trauma involved that she said would take time to get over and we have seen that.  Every April. July and October (these are the times that correlate with visits starting or stopping)  we go through meltdowns worse than normal, sleepless nights and what I describe as fear of being abandoned but hopefully as time goes on these will be less and less. I will go into this more later.
The rest of the adoption process went pretty smoothly. We heard rumors of kin being found but nothing ever became of anything and in November of 2013 we finalized the adoption. After 3 years of living under a microscope and having the county dictate our lives it has been a nice break to not have to worry about monthly visits, education and paper work.