I haven't written in a while but lattley I have felt the need to have an outlet to vent. The need to maybe find others that feel the same or go through the same struggles with their adopted kiddo. For those of you who fallowed my blog earlier or for those who go back to read the previous blogs I will finish the story that led to the adoption. but for now I am venting.
IT.IS. HARD.
I know that we were told it would be but nothing could have prepared us for just how hard. Most days I hate what drugs, alchohol, abandonment, neglect, who knows what else, and the system did to our son. Other days it goes beyond that to feeling helpless in not knowing how to deal with him and wishing we had never adopted. Then hating myself for feeling that way. I know it is not his fault, I know he is stuggleing but sometimes the upheavle his adoption has taken on our family doesn't seem worth it. The guilt overwhelms me at times that I did this to my kids that this was unfair to them.
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