Our Story

Once upon a time I was mom to a beautiful baby boy. In my heart I am still his mom. I still worry if he is eating well or warm enough but I can't fix it if he is not. I pray for him every night but can no longer tuck him in and kiss his little head. So far this fairy tale has no happy ending. I pray that one day it will but for now my heart is to broken to see how it can. This is the past story and the continuing story of the joys and sadness we have experienced and continue to experience as we pursue adoption through foster care

Monday, August 13, 2012

update on little man

A few months ago I was cleaning and ran across the phone # for little man's "aunt" (the "family" member he was places with) I left it sitting in my drawer for weeks trying to get up the nerve to call. I just wanted to know how he was. Finally I asked my husband to call and just see how he was doing. I was hoping for some closure. She wanted to do lunch and meet with us. We agreed and met her that weekend. He looked exactly the same just taller. He also didn't seem to have change developmentally except for he was walking. He wasn't feeding himself or talking or anything most healthy 18 month old boys do. She told us that he was diagnosed with sensory disorder (really? hmmm I think I told them that since he was 4 months old but what does a foster mom know) I also think he was showing strong signs of attachment disorder but what would you expect of a child being taken at 7 month old from his family and placed with a stranger who I am sure has know idea how to help a child create a healthy attachment. She spent some time talking about how she didn't want him but was forced by family and case workers to take him.
I still can't decide if this was closure or just drugging up more if only's. I have to look at it as closure or risk killing myself with the if only's.
I am not sure how much we will stay in contact. Her adoption of little man was finalized end of July.

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